Better Dead Than Red? You Can Be Both.

            One of the major complaints of the Red-state world is that it feels dissed by the “elites” from the Blue states.  According to that theory, there are many good things about the Red states that the Blues ignore.

            What would these be? Are they healthier?  Better educated?  Less violent?  Do they have cleaner air & water? Lower infant mortality?  Let’s see.

            The basics: If you want to live to be 80 or over, your only reliably Red state is Utah, but of course you’ll have to follow Mormon drinking and smoking rules.  They live on average to be 85, which means non-Mormons (40% of the state) live to well under 80.

            Living to 80+, however, is average in 8 reliably (during the last 7 elections) Blue states, plus NH (Blue in 6 of 7), WI (Blue in 7 straight before 2016) and CO (Blue in the last 3 elections). 

            On the other hand, if you live in one of the other 13 reliably Red states, your life expectancy drops to under 78, and it’s even worse if you add in the 6 states (AR, KY, LA, MO, TN, WV) that have been Red for all elections since 1980 except for the Bill Clinton years. Then you lose another half-year.

            Then of course there’s the question of causes.  That’s a tough one, of course, but there are some indicators.

            No health insurance?  Of the 18 states above the national average in lacking insurance, all but Nevada are among the reliable Red.  Of the 19 states, almost all Red, that have not expanded Medicaid, 10 have suffered rural hospital closures, while of the 31 expanded states, only 9 have – total closures in non-expansion states 20, in expanded 11.

            How are you going to die?  If you prefer gunshot, move to a Red state.  Seventeen of the 18 states with the most per capita deaths by gun are Red (New Mexico is the exception). Thirteen of the safest 17 are Blue.  If you’re a woman, being a Red stater is especially dangerous for your health.  Red states are 11 among the 13 states where a woman is most likely to be killed by a man.  Nevada and New Mexico are the only exceptions.

            Prefer to die of lung diseases?  Red state will get you there faster – only three of the 20 most polluted air states are Blue.  Want to do it yourself? Join the smokers. Arkansas, Kentucky, and West Virginia are your best bets, with 8 other Red states in the over 20% category, along with Ohio and Michigan.

            Want to get it over with fast?  Infant mortality is highest in 5 Red states, with only Blue Maine and Michigan in the top 14.

            Of course you could just eat yourself to death: the 15 most obese states are all Red, and while four western states are in good shape, the other 15 trimmest are all Blue.

            And given the statistical benefits of marriage, you’re also divorcing themselves to death, holding most of the top ten places in divorce rates, while Blue states hold seven of the 10 lowest (and Utah slips in there for different reasons).  You know, family values and all that.

            Don’t believe in all this data and science mumbo-jumbo? You’ll be happiest in Red states, where you can deny global warming, continue to believe dinosaurs lived with humans, and pretty much ignore any cause-and-effect information you’d like. Nine of ten states ranked “Far Below Average” in science education are Red (only New Mexico is Blue), and so are the next 4 lowest, while the only states ranked Well Above Average are Blue.  And don’t expect college to fix what high school failed to do: of the 30 lowest states in percentage of college degrees, none is reliably Blue; the same is true for the 25 lowest in graduate degrees.

            But ignorance evidently isn’t bliss, since 16 of the 18 “unhappiest” states (WalletHub) voted Red in 2016. This gets a little quirky: only 3 southern states make the top 30 in happiness, but 8 western/Midwestern do.

            Perhaps most ironic, the Red states who feel the Blues look down on them are the most likely to have their hand out for Blue support.  Of the 25 states that receive the most federal support, 17 are Red.  The top ten state givers of dollars to the government include 7 Blue and two swings.  Most bizarre of all, Alaska, with no state taxes whatsoever, which pays residents just for being Alaskans, manages to rank 10^th in what it takes from the federal government.  (It also ranks well below the middle in work and in community environment, and 38^th in overall happiness.)

            So Red state residents are poorly educated, short-lived, unhealthy, short on health insurance, and scornful of those who are better educated and healthier; they hate government, which they nevertheless want to do more for them, except where it actually might do some good.

            What’s not to disrespect?